


Don't you dare let all these memories bring you sorrow.

by wastinginks



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, aaaaahhhhhh, i am so nervous to post this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-31 01:00:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6449140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wastinginks/pseuds/wastinginks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was a poisoned arrow that killed Magnus. Alec had seen it flew past him, he remembered thinking nothing of it. They were fighting, of course arrows would fly. It wasn't anything unusual. Until it was.</p><p>Or Magnus dies when he wasn't supposed to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't you dare let all these memories bring you sorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is the first work I totally completed without giving up once in 6 years. This is a huge deal for me. It's very angsty but I hope you'll like it.

It was a poisoned arrow that killed Magnus. Alec had seen it flew past him, he remembered thinking nothing of it. They were fighting, of course arrows would fly. It wasn't anything unusual. Until it was. Until he turned around only to find Magnus laying on the floor, an arrow in his shoulder. Alec was at his side in the blink of an eye. What was Magnus even doing here? It was a regular shadowhunters' missions, nothing too serious. His brain was on overdrive, only focusing on Magnus pained face. Alec's priority was now to get Magnus somewhere safe. To bring him home. A panicked look at Jace and the blond understood his parabatai right away.

 

“Go!”

 

Alec just nodded, carrying Magnus back at the loft as fast as possible.

 

 

•••

 

 

Magnus was still alive when Alec finally put him to bed, muttering incomprehensible words. He was delirious, and very probably suffering from a fever. Alec was lost. Who was he supposed to call when Magnus was usually the one healing everyone. Alec was lost, and so was Magnus.

 

 

•••

 

 

Alec called some Warlocks, all old friends of Magnus. And the answer was the same every single time.

 

“From what you're describing, it seems like this arrow was made to kill one of us. Dipped in a very old poison.”

“So you're telling me...”

“He's dying. There's nothing we can do.”

“But...but I thought Warlocks were immortals,” Alec stuttered with agitation.

“Death among us is very rare, yes. But not impossible. I'm sorry.”

 

 

It's a couple of hours later that, with a moment of clarity, Magnus said his last words.

 

“Goodbye, Alexander.”

 

And he was gone.

 

 

•••

 

 

The first few days are the worst. Well, at least Alec thinks so. He never felt that bad, that hurt, that heartbroken. They say a piece of you dies when you lost your Parabatai, but he's pretty sure a biggest one dies when the person you're in love dies. Especially when aren't supposed to. When you have no time to prepare for it. Warlocks aren't supposed to die, so why did Magnus? Why did he have to be stripped of the only person he ever loved that strongly? It wasn't fair. Not one bit. And Alec couldn't accept it.

 

 

•••

 

 

Alec's main occupation since Magnus' death was drinking. Mundanes always said that drinking would make you forgot your sorrow. Turns out, they were wrong. Alcohol only made him feel even more miserable, even though he wasn't sure it was possible.

Jace and Isabelle were taking turns visiting him, and they were sure Alec hadn't noticed it. He had. Of course. And he was glad they did. Loneliness was hard getting used to. And life without Magnus, he found out, was extremely lonely.

 

 

•••

 

 

A month had passed, and Alec was now in a self-destruction circle. Finding every demons he could and fighting them, alone. No matter how dangerous the demon was. He just wasn't feeling anything but pain. And maybe he deserved it. After all, he broke the law. Not dating a man, but a downworlder.

 

 

•••

 

 

No. He didn't deserved this pain. What he had with Magnus was the best thing that had ever happened to him. And he refused to believe he was being punished for it.

 

 

•••

 

 

What Alec did next was searching for a run, or a potion, or _anything_ really, that would either numb him from the pain or...or would erase Magnus from his memory.

He couldn't do it anymore. Remembering was hurting him too much.

 

 

•••

 

 

Alec wanted to die. That was a pretty easy wish to realize. Way easier than the only thing he truly wanted. Because really, he wanted two things. And it was either to die, or have Magnus back. Alive and with him. And this was not exactly achievable. So he was relying on his first wish. That's why he was provocations fights with demons all the time. He simply wanted to die. But every single time he tried to give up and let himself defeated by the demons, Jace was there. It was like he was coming out of nowhere, to kill the demon and start lecturing Alec about how he had to stop, and how Magnus wouldn't want that, and had he even thought of them, Izzy, his parents?

Of course he had.

But life wasn't worse living if Magnus wasn't with him anymore.

 

 

•••

 

 

Alec was dreaming. Or maybe he wasn't. He wasn't sure anymore, but Magnus was right in front of him, so that couldn't be real.

 

“Hello, Alexander.”

 

Alec didn't answer. He couldn't. Magnus was right here. In their living room. Sitting on the couch as if nothing had happened.

 

“I know you must be wondering what I am doing here.”

 

Alec nodded.

 

“Well you see, when Warlocks happen to die, which happened to me sadly, we get gifted with one last visit to the person of our choice. And I had to see you, Alexander. I know what's going on in this head of yours. I _know_ you. And I want you to stop. Stop risking your life. Please. You ought to live, Alec. For me.”

 

At that, Alec ticked.

 

“But you weren't supposed to die. I was supposed to have my whole life with you, not just a few years. You can't blame me for wanting to follow you in death.”

 

Magnus closed his eyes for a second. Looking for the right words.

 

“I know, Alec. Trust me. I know how unfair it is. But please, I'm begging you. Don't do that. Hang on to life. It's the most precious thing you have. Don't waste. Please. Do this for me.”

 

And Alec broke down, letting Magnus bring him against his torso, sobbing in the crock of his neck.

 

 

•••

 

 

It was two weeks after Magnus had appear, and here was Alec, on a beach, drinking wine straight from the bottle. The beach always brought back memories of the Warlock. After all, one of their first dates took place there.

In those two weeks, he hadn't been able to stop thinking about what Magnus had told him. And he was right.

Alec took one last gulp of the wine, before throwing the bottle in the sea. As far as he could.

 

“Goodbye, Magnus.”

 

Except this wasn't really a goodbye. It was a see you later.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! 
> 
> You can find me on tumblr at Magnuslwb!


End file.
